How do I do it all….
By Manuela Raposo
How I balance my career along with being a mom and caregiver for my elderly parents? All three roles are challenging but enormously fulfilling. I am committed to each and not willing to sacrifice one for the sake of the other.
The secret….
Folks there is no secret nor a rule that fits all households. I simply apply priority to all that I do. I focus on 4-5 priorities a day that must be met at work and the same for at home. Meeting the priorities results in me feeling productive and balanced. Should additional work time or family time hijack my day, I feel that I am able to roll with it and not find myself stressed.
At times, the day is primarily focused on work and certainly takes a higher priority but other times the family demands are the priority. It simply is striking the right balance which enables you to feel accomplished and satisfied for the day. Tomorrow is another day and may have to be tackled differently.
Quality versus Quantity…
I focus on quality of time versus quantity of time spent with my three kids and aging parents. Many spend much time with their families and still not as present for a healthy family/work environment. I have a couple of basic rules at home which generally are followed successfully. That is, everyone must eat dinner together and simply talk about their good or challenging day. More importantly, Sundays are family day where we hang out together to watch a movie, play a game or just have good discussion.
Stages in life …
There is no “parenting silver bullet”! Throughout my life I have realized that the different phases my children grow through has required different approaches, but the common denominator has always been LOVE, INTEREST & COMMUNICATION (LIC). Exhibit much love to your children by hugging and kissing them regardless of their resistance. Show interest in those things they are fascinated with and lastly keep healthy discussion going to better understand their feelings and what their up to. Show interest in their friends to promote transparency into who they are spending much time with. Apply what I refer to as the LIC approach, it most often is successful.
The sandwich generation…
I am in the sandwich generation which means that I am raising my 3 kids while having to take care of my aging parents. It is daunting at times, but I have great support as my husband is “shoulder to shoulder” with me and without question always helps.
As my dad has kidney failure and at times extremely ill the WHOLE family steps in to help where they can. What I have cherished most throughout my dad’s illness is the love my kids show to their grandparents. This my friends, is a cure or a remedy in itself. Teach them well and you will see the fruits of your labor.
There are hard days, but one must reflect and understand that you have done your best for today and always remember tomorrow is another day!
In conclusion I want it all, a career, kids and take care of my parents. It is not easy to balance all 3 but I would not have it any other way!
In conclusion, thinking you can do it all flawlessly, is unachievable. It all comes down to priorities and few basic rules that keeps work and life well balanced. This is how I manage my career, kids, and aging parents.
In conclusion, thinking you can do it all flawlessly, is unachievable. It all comes down to priorities and few basic rules that keeps work and life well balanced. This is how I manage my career, kids, and aging parents.